Sex Books For Men – The Top Ten Books Concerning Male Sexual Health on Amazon

Currently, the top ten sex books for men on Amazon are split between two subjects. 80% of the books are devoted to matters relating to male sexual health and performance issues, whilst the other 20% deals with sexual abuse and its aftermath.

Of the eight books centred around male sexual health, six focus specifically on improving potency, with Secret Aphrodisiac Sexual Stimulants: Aphrodisiacs for Male Impotency, Building Libido & Sex Drive Enhancement by William Livingstone revealing the many aphrodisiac sexual stimulants that can be purchased – pills and tonics to boost the libido and bolster the erection – and Male Potency: A Man’s Guide to Optimal Sexual Health by L B Johnson looking at the nutritional factors needed to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sex life, including many herbs of the Amazon rain forest.

However, another two – Drugs Compromising Male Sexual Health by Walter Krause and Sexual Health for Men by Richard F Spark – actively discount these lotions and potions, quoting the risks and dangers of consuming and applying such chemicals.

Male Sexual Dysfunction – A Medical Dictionary, Bibliography and Annotated Research Guide to Internet References by ICON Health Publications is a complete medical dictionary of expressions and terms relating to male sexual dysfunction.

Whilst Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia and Michael Winn reports on mystical Taoist principles and shows the reader how to harness sexual energy from transcendental states of consciousness.

The two sex books for men at the top of the chart Men’s Sexual Health: Fitness for Satisfying Sex by Barry W McCarthy and Michael E Metz and Male Sexual Health: A Couple’s Guide by Richard F Spark aim to help a man and his partner to learn that mutually satisfying sex is the core principle of any successful relationship. The primary focus is on educating the reader to realise that not all sex finishes with both partners climaxing simultaneously.

There are varying levels of pleasure and satisfaction in between but, at the heart of the best relationships is an honest intimacy that allows a couple to explore all methods of foreplay and erotic arousal that will allow both to achieve orgasm as part of a mutually exciting experience.

The most popular book specifically targets male fitness, as this is a major factor in establishing the stamina to be able to indulge the different types of foreplay and intercourse techniques which will promote the best climaxes.

The two titles that stand apart from the rest in the top ten male sexual health books on Amazon concern sexual abuse. Sexual Abuse of Males: The SAM Model of Theory and Practice by Josef Spiegel looks at the psychological and physical repercussions of the childhood abuse of boys, whilst Opening the Door: A Treatment Model for Therapy With Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Adrian Crowder addresses the various techniques used by professional counsellors and therapists to try to repair the damage.

Doc Love’s “The System – The Dating Dictionary” on Male Archetypes

If you study Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY, you will find that it describes four male archetypes:

  • Wimp
  • Macho Boy
  • Gentleman
  • Gigolo

And each archetype has such a unique description, which can make you wonder how men can be so different from each other! Well, a careful analysis reveals a certain pattern, which is what I will describe here.

A man’s psychological attitude can be analysed in several dimensions/spectrums, and I will focus on two such dimensions for now:

  1. The Sensitivity Dimension: You have a SENSITIVE guy on one end of this spectrum, and a CALLOUS guy on the other.
  2. The Attachment Dimension: You have a FAWNER on one end of this spectrum, and a CHALLENGE on the other.

Using this method of analysis, the archetypes can be summarised as follows:

  • A WIMP is a SENSITIVE FAWNER.
  • A MACHO BOY is a CALLOUS CHALLENGE.
  • A GENTLEMAN is a SENSITIVE CHALLENGE.
  • A GIGOLO is a CALLOUS FAWNER.

Sometimes you meet a woman that tells you she wants a sensitive guy, and keeps complaining about what a nasty jerk her boyfriend is! All her friends know that she’s with the wrong guy and tell her to break up. She also knows “intellectually” that she deserves better. But no matter how much she complains, she somehow cannot “get herself” to leave him!

And when she actually does encounter a sensitive guy, she is likely to cry on his shoulder and complain about her boyfriend for hours together. The sensitive guy keeps asking (or should I say “begging”) her to give him just one chance! He promises to treat her like a princess and do anything to make her happy. The woman is touched and moved by his sincerity, but still finds that something is missing. She cannot really describe what it is…but somehow, she feels that she just can’t respect him. She also doesn’t feel “attracted” to him! She actually feels MORE attracted to the jerk she complains about!

And the next day you meet another woman, whose boyfriend is the sweetest guy in the world! He treats her with the utmost respect, frequently buys her gifts and flowers, tells her several times how much he loves her, forgives her for everything, puts up with her put-downs and is always ready to apologise whenever there is a conflict between them.

Her friends tell her that she has the best thing going for her, but she is somehow not happy with him! And no matter how hard he tries to please her, she always find something wrong with him and criticises him for it!

If you are a student of Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY, you can easily tell that the second woman’s Interest Level in her boyfriend is very low. And it is very likely that she would soon dump him for someone else!

Now, I have heard these stories HUNDREDS of times over and over again! And I’m no longer amused by these things, as they have become too much of a chiche!

But it wouldn’t surprise me if it gives you the following impressions:

  • Women are so stupid and illogical
  • Women hate guys that are nice to them
  • Women like guys that treat them like trash

Well, nothing could be farther from the truth. And I’ll tell you what the real truth is….

  • Macho Boys are attractive NOT because they are abusive jerks, but because they EXHIBIT challenge.
  • Wimps are repulsive NOT because they are nice to women, but because they LACK challenge.

A woman that is good-looking but has a low self-esteem is drawn to Macho Boys. She harbours a subconscious belief that she does not deserve to be treated well, and the Macho Boy provides her the perfect validation for her beliefs. (He treats her like trash….but she definitely likes the sex eh?!)

And I have NEVER found a woman that feels “attracted” to Wimps at a primordial level! A Feminista that has a low self-esteem might stick around with a Wimp for a long time, but it’s NOT because she is attracted to him. It’s only because she’s looking for someone to dominate and use like a punching bag….and the Wimp makes the perfect candidate for this kind of abuse. (Eventually even the Feminista would leave him for a tougher guy, but that’s a different story.)

Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY teaches you how to strike a proper balance by becoming a GENTLEMAN that treats women well, but also displays CHALLENGE at the same time.

And women that are self-reliant and have a high self-esteem (the desirable women) are ALWAYS attracted to Gentlemen.

Hope you found this insightful…..Good luck in the Dating Jungle, my fellow Spartan!

The Politics of Same Sex Marriage

The Random House Unabridged Dictionary defines marriage as “the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.” This definition reflects the current predominating political and moral consensus regarding the state of marriage; particularly that marriage is an institution reserved for opposite-sex couples and that the marriage contract cannot, by definition, be entered into by same-sex couples.

The debate surrounding same sex marriage has raged for more than three decades and has been based largely on the desire of same sex couples to be permitted the same legal conventions provided by marriage as their opposite-sex counterparts enjoy; namely that they be legally permitted to share insurance coverage, property ownership, and other legal conventions in the same manner as any other couple which has chosen to make a lifetime commitment.

Interestingly, as the issue of same sex marriage has landed in the nation’s courts, the courts have struggled to define marriage in a legal sense. Tradition has indeed dictated that marriage take place between a man and a woman. This tradition is largely based on the fact that marriage, even though it contains elements of a legal contract, is generally surrounded by religious aspects, i.e., the marriage ceremony. This religious component of the marriage contract is perhaps the stumbling block to same sex marriage acceptance. Traditions are notoriously difficult to change.

As the courts of the nation struggle to define marriage in a legal sense, devoid of its religiousness, the nation’s politicians are not required to follow the same path. In fact, the majority of American politicians have publicly stated that marriage is a state that is, in their interpretation, to be entered into between a man and a woman. Where then, does this leave same sex couples?

It was the courts of Hawaii, Massachusetts and Vermont that brought the issue to the forefront when they elected to recognize same-sex couples’ right to enter into a legal marriage contract. Since that time, proponents and opponents have struggled not only to gain control of state courts and lawmakers, but they have taken their battle to the top by asking that the office of the president as well as the nation’s Supreme Court acknowledge one side or another. This fight for legitimization has been the hallmark of the struggle as one side prays for legal rights, regardless of the morality of their situation, and the other seeks to uphold their moral interpretation of the institution of marriage.

Ideally, same sex couples would prefer to have their relationships recognized in more than just a legal sense. This struggle has been identified by some as the “gay agenda”. Opponents assert that same sex couples are attempting to redefine marriage which will subsequently change the value system of the nation. Proponents argue that their struggle is hindered by the nation’s predominating sense of homophobia. Others insist that the courts have no business ruling on the issue at all. With this mishmash of opinions, it stands to reason that the debate will likely rage on for years.

Some courts have elected to define marriage as that which occurs between a man and a woman based on the fact that same sex couples cannot reproduce. This stance however, has inherent problems. Namely that if marriage and parenthood are based on reproduction, then infertile couples could not be considered married. Other courts have traditionally stood on the grounds of their states’ anti-sodomy laws. However, as these laws are stricken from the books, the state’s basis for restricting marriage disappears. It is partially on the stance of antiquated laws that same-sex partners have based their arguments. Certainly, there have been many laws that are based more on morality than on any real legal argument. As these, somewhat ridiculous, laws leave the books, same-sex couples may find their case increases in merit. This is not to say that a victory for same-sex marriage is imminent. Just because such old-fashioned laws are rendered impotent does not mean that the sense of convention that originally drove them into existence has disappeared. It should be interesting to watch the issue heat up anew as the 2008 election grows nearer.

What Part Does Sex Play in Casual Relationships?

I received a wonderful email last week raising a question about the definition of ‘casual relationship’ opposed to ‘serious relationship’. I have some thoughts on this but I would love to throw this out to all of you for your thoughts as well.

The person who sent the question thought that, for her, a casual relationship becomes a serious relationship when sex comes into play. The person she was having the conversation with on this topic, a male, suggested that even casual relationships could be sexual.

I’m going to agree with both and I think what it comes down to is not so much the definition of ‘relationship’ but more the definition of ‘sex’. Sex can be present in casual relationships though, for many, this might be considered more something a man would do rather than a woman. The argument here is often that while sex for a man can be purely a physical act, for a woman sex is always emotional. The truth about this is that, I believe, that sex can be purely physical for a woman as well.

On the contrary though, sex in a serious relationship is more likely to be an emotional act for both people as this now becomes less about satisfying a selfish physical need for sex and more of a representation of one person’s love and care for another by which sex becomes more a selfless act of pleasing another person.

So what then is the definition of ‘relationship’? This one sent me scurrying to the dictionary which said, amongst other things, that “relationship is an emotional connection between people, sometimes involving sexual relations”. Obviously there can be many kinds of relationships between people but I guess we most often think of relationship as some intimate connection between two people and if this is serious then indeed there may be a sexual connection as well though not necessarily.

So, as my reader also suggested, “there is no answer to this, because of our sexual biases (or desires)”, but a topic that is well worthwhile opening up for discussion.

What do you think?

If you would like to enter into this conversation please add your comments via the link at the bottom of my blog.

So until next time – Relate with Love

Lidy Seysener